Episode 8
Ep 008. My 2024 Rock Climbing Goal & Experiment with Fear (My Personal Debrief)
Join me in a behind-the-scenes look at the big rock climbing goal I set for myself in 2024 and my experiment to have more fun with lead climbing and shift my relationship with my fear of falling in climbing.
Key Points Discussed:
- Why I chose this climbing goal in 2024
- The journaling prompts I used to frame up my "impossible goal" around lead climbing and my fear of falling (a process you could use for any big goal you have)
- A behind-the-scenes look at my biggest fears and insecurities when it came to this climbing goal
- What I achieved this year in pursuit of this goal, what I'm most proud of, and what I still want to work on going forward
- The top 5 things that made the biggest impact on my growth in this goal
- My biggest takeaways and lessons learned from pursuing this climbing goal
Even if you are NOT a rock climber, you will really benefit from listening to this episode and learning more about my approach to setting big goals.
Where to learn more about Allison:
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Transcript
You're listening to the Adventurous Reinvention podcast. I'm
Speaker:Alison Boyle AKA She Dreams of Alpine and this is the
Speaker:show that's dedicated to all the adventurous spirits out there who have either
Speaker:been transformed by the outdoors or interested in what it
Speaker:looks like to step into a new adventurous and courageous kind
Speaker:of identity in their life. It doesn't matter what your background is in the
Speaker:outdoors, what age you're starting at, or where you grew up. If
Speaker:you're curious about the outdoors and using adventure as a way to
Speaker:reinvent yourself, you're in the right place. I'll be
Speaker:sharing all kinds of personal adventure stories, lessons I've
Speaker:learned from the mountains, teaching what I know about the outdoors and leadership,
Speaker:and interviewing some amazing adventurous women all along the
Speaker:way. I've been coaching women on becoming safe, confident, and
Speaker:self sufficient backpackers and leaders of their own adventurous lives
Speaker:since 2018. And I know exactly what
Speaker:big fears and self doubts can pop up along the way. I have
Speaker:so much to share with you, so let's dive in.
Speaker:Okay. Welcome to episode 8 of the adventurous reinvention
Speaker:podcast. This episode is actually it's really
Speaker:fitting because when this specific podcast episode
Speaker:airs, I'll be heading off to Spain on a rock climbing trip
Speaker:with some of my clients. So I'm meeting 8 clients out
Speaker:there. This was a unique rock climbing trip that we planned. We have
Speaker:never done one out in Spain before, but we're gonna be climbing on this coast
Speaker:of Spain for a week together in December, and
Speaker:it's gonna be rock climbing. We're gonna get to have tapas
Speaker:together. We're gonna do some reflection of our year and kinda thinking
Speaker:backwards and what happened in 2024 and
Speaker:thinking forwards and, like, what we wanna create in 2025.
Speaker:We're gonna be doing some hiking together, just enjoying some beautiful
Speaker:weather being in Spain if you've never been. It's amazing out
Speaker:there, and it's gonna be the perfect way to end the year. So
Speaker:I'm really, really excited to be going on that trip. When this airs,
Speaker:I'll be flying out really soon and heading that way to spend time with those
Speaker:clients. So very excited. And in this
Speaker:episode, I wanted to kinda give you a behind the scenes look at
Speaker:my 2024 rock climbing goal and my
Speaker:experiment with fear. And for me, this was more
Speaker:around my specific fear of falling. So there's all these different
Speaker:elements and layers we have of fear, and it can be
Speaker:with anything that you're doing in your life. For me, I really wanted to hone
Speaker:in with some of the fear that I had around climbing and
Speaker:falling and specifically when lead climbing. And
Speaker:so this year, like, for me, my own personal
Speaker:goal, I wanted to get back into sport climbing
Speaker:and trying to lead a lot more and
Speaker:get stronger at that and push myself. That was a goal that I really wanted
Speaker:to get into. So if you were not into rock climbing,
Speaker:I'm gonna explain that, like, very, very briefly. So
Speaker:sport climbing is sport climbing or trad climbing,
Speaker:there are different styles of climbing and, like, the way you protect yourself and
Speaker:gear. But, essentially, this is when I'm saying sport climbing, it's like when
Speaker:you're putting up a rope on a climb and there's
Speaker:maybe, like, gear. For traditional climbing, you're placing gear as you go
Speaker:and you're clipping your rope into that gear as you climb. For sport
Speaker:climbing, there's usually bolts in the rock already, and you're
Speaker:clipping clips into those bolts and clipping your rope into the clips.
Speaker:So as just, like, a very general explanation to that. And for
Speaker:when you're leading, you are the person setting up the rope. So as you're
Speaker:climbing, there's no rope ahead of you. You're climbing to the next
Speaker:bolt, and you're setting the rope and protecting yourself along the way to the top
Speaker:where you'll set an anchor. And then other people could
Speaker:either top rope it from the anchor, which many people are more familiar with. Like,
Speaker:when you go to a climbing gym, often you will top rope a climb.
Speaker:And so that's an experience more people have going to a climbing
Speaker:gym and top roping. I wanted to practice more
Speaker:with my leading and being a more confident lead climber, being the person who's
Speaker:setting the route. And I have done a lot of leading in my
Speaker:past, but it's not something I'd been focused on for a
Speaker:while. So I did actually start out as when I got
Speaker:into climbing, I started out doing a lot more sport climbing and traditional
Speaker:climbing. Then I kinda met Michael. He was also into
Speaker:those things as well, but he was also into bouldering and, like, hard bouldering. So
Speaker:I ended up kind of becoming a boulder through dating him. And
Speaker:we together we did a lot of everything. So when
Speaker:we first started dating, we would sport climb, we would go on alpine
Speaker:climbs, we would traditional climb, we would go bouldering, and
Speaker:then there were some years where we would focus on one thing over the other.
Speaker:I've been doing this for a long time now, like, almost as long as backpacking,
Speaker:so about 11 years. There would be some years where we'd be really
Speaker:focused on our bouldering and just getting strong with bouldering, and then some years, we'd
Speaker:go back to sport climbing. And for the last couple
Speaker:of years, especially since I've moved to Colorado for whatever reason,
Speaker:that was a big change and I just wasn't focused on it. But the last
Speaker:couple of years, I've mostly just been bouldering and
Speaker:mostly haven't had really any specific goals around rock climbing
Speaker:recently. I think after a while, I just it just wasn't a
Speaker:big focus for me. I think I was a lot more focused on building
Speaker:my business. After, you know, the pandemic, there were some tough years being a
Speaker:business owner and figuring out new challenges, so I just had a lot of
Speaker:my focus on being entrepreneur and being in business and less so on my
Speaker:climbing goals. And so, yeah, I put
Speaker:a lot of those goal goals to the side. I just mostly bouldered when I
Speaker:moved to Colorado at the climbing gym, and I just was staying in general climbing
Speaker:shape. So at the end of, like, last
Speaker:year and at the beginning of 2024,
Speaker:I was really kind of hungry to tap into that
Speaker:side of myself again. The woman who was, like, really
Speaker:in in love with climbing felt like she had fun climbing
Speaker:goals, like, was really excited about it. And I was hungry
Speaker:to set a goal around lead climbing more specifically
Speaker:and working with my relationship
Speaker:with fear around lead climbing. Because in the past, even when I used to lead
Speaker:stuff, there was a lot of fear involved, and so I just never
Speaker:reached my potential with sport climbing and lead climbing because I was
Speaker:always especially when it came to outdoor stuff, like, I was always over
Speaker:worried about falling. And so I thought it would be
Speaker:kind of fun to be like, let's play around with this. Like, let's see if
Speaker:we can make falling more fun. Let's see if we can,
Speaker:like, kind of flip the script on this conversation I was having in my head
Speaker:around falling and lead climbing and, like,
Speaker:yeah, really just have fun with it and rewire my brain.
Speaker:And I thought that would be a really fun goal to set and
Speaker:got me really excited at the beginning beginning of 2024.
Speaker:So I decided to do sort of at the beginning of the
Speaker:year, I decided to do an impossible goal exercise
Speaker:with it. And if you've never heard that before, like, an
Speaker:impossible goal exercise, I first learned this from one of my coaches,
Speaker:but it's basically, like, you're picking a goal that
Speaker:is kind of out of your realm of current possibility,
Speaker:like, something that feels like a stretch for you, the
Speaker:intention the the intention behind setting this, like, kinda big
Speaker:scary impossible goal is that it sorta actually does freak you out a little
Speaker:bit, but, like, in an exciting way. So you're excited, but you're, like, I don't
Speaker:know how I'm gonna do it and you're a little bit freaked out by it,
Speaker:you really can't wrap your mind around how you get there, right?
Speaker:Because it stretches you to evolve in trying to become the person who
Speaker:achieves it. Because if you knew exactly how to get there, you would probably already
Speaker:be doing it, right? So an impossible goal, it stretches you, it expands
Speaker:you. I put it in
Speaker:quotation marks, like, impossible. Sometimes we achieve our impossible goals
Speaker:and sometimes we have to keep resetting the goal and keep pursuing it, all
Speaker:things. So for me, I use the term impossible
Speaker:goal when I'm doing this. And this is
Speaker:similar work that I actually do with my clients in our adventurous
Speaker:reinvention experience program. We do a lot in that
Speaker:program. But one of the things in the 3rd phase, there's kind of 3
Speaker:core phases in that program, but our 3rd phase of our experience working
Speaker:together after a lot of discovering, like, what
Speaker:my clients want to do and what they want to focus on their personal lives
Speaker:and, like, reinventing themselves, like, what area they wanna focus in
Speaker:on. A lot of the work that we do is picking that impossible
Speaker:goal for themselves and learning how to take massive action
Speaker:towards themselves. And that is essentially the process of
Speaker:reinventing themselves so I guide them through like a whole
Speaker:framework and a process of doing that and I do this with myself all the
Speaker:time like as you can see kind of in this exercise I like to have
Speaker:fun with impossible goals I like to have fun with reinventing myself,
Speaker:like, read it you know, in a past episode, I don't know if you recently
Speaker:listened to the episode I did with Marie,
Speaker:Pierre. Great conversation. Definitely go listen to it if you haven't. But we
Speaker:talked about, like, redeciding things, redeciding things that you want in your life. And if
Speaker:you don't want them, like, what do you want? And then things that
Speaker:you want in your life. And if you don't want them, like what do you
Speaker:want? And then going after it, what does that look like, right? So for me,
Speaker:I knew that I wanted climbing to continue to be like a strong part of
Speaker:my life, and I just wanted to bring some
Speaker:excitement to it. And so I did,
Speaker:wanted to bring some excitement to it. And so I did my I did an
Speaker:impossible goal exercise in January of 2024. I did this as, like, a journaling
Speaker:exercise. And what I'm gonna do next
Speaker:is I'm gonna read through some of what I wrote in my journal at the
Speaker:beginning of last year, or beginning of this year, technically, and then I'll kind of
Speaker:give you an update on how that has been going for
Speaker:me after almost 1 year setting that goal.
Speaker:Because at the time of me recording this, it's the end of November, and I
Speaker:have, like, 1 month left of seeing if I can
Speaker:achieve this goal. So let me read through
Speaker:part of my journal, walk you through some of the journaling
Speaker:exercises that I went through, and kind of framing up my
Speaker:impossible goal. So I actually, just
Speaker:for some background, I actually bought a fresh journal
Speaker:specifically for this climbing goal. And all I write in
Speaker:this journal is things about climbing. And throughout the whole year, I've just been
Speaker:like, anytime I go climbing, I write my thoughts about it, I write my
Speaker:wins, all the things. So I write things I wanna work on.
Speaker:My journal is completely dedicated to climbing, and it's like my
Speaker:log. So what I did first is I wrote down what
Speaker:is my impossible goal. So for me, with this
Speaker:goal, I wrote, to become a badass lead climber
Speaker:and rewire my relationship with the fear of falling and
Speaker:just fear generally. So that's what I wrote. And then I
Speaker:put by when. So it's, like, always good to put a date to your
Speaker:goal because it does stretch you when you have kind of, like, a time limit.
Speaker:It helps you kind of start thinking, well, how could I achieve this within
Speaker:this time frame? Right? So I put, for me, December 31,
Speaker:2024. So I just gave myself a full year. And then the next thing
Speaker:I wrote is, how will I know I have achieved this
Speaker:goal? This part is important if you're kind of
Speaker:doing this journaling process for yourself or you're taking notes. This part's important
Speaker:because if you think about what I wrote for my impossible
Speaker:goal, become a badass lead climber and rewire my relationship with the fear of falling,
Speaker:that's kinda vague. Like, how rewire my relationship with the fear of falling,
Speaker:that's kind of vague. Like, how do we know that I've how will I know
Speaker:I have achieved that? Like, in my mind, what does that mean? So I wrote
Speaker:what it meant for me. This is
Speaker:all very personal. It could mean something totally different from you. So if you also
Speaker:wanna learn to lead climb, you may have similar goal, but it could
Speaker:mean something different to you. For me, it meant that I'm
Speaker:consistently volunteering to lead climbs that are either
Speaker:that are at, below, and just
Speaker:above my grade level range. Meaning, like, I'm,
Speaker:like, consistently volunteering, of course, to do things that are below my level
Speaker:that I know I can do at my level and even pushing
Speaker:myself to do things that I'm like, I probably will fall doing this
Speaker:or I may have to take and rest on my way up
Speaker:or something. Like, I wanted to get to that point where I wasn't
Speaker:afraid that I wouldn't be able to
Speaker:climb it without falling. That essentially is what that means. So I
Speaker:wrote that as part of it. I also said, another way I'll know I've
Speaker:achieved this goal is that I've led 5 to
Speaker:10 climbs in the 5, 10
Speaker:plus range, outdoors. I wrote specifically outdoors
Speaker:because for me, it was more like translating this goal
Speaker:outside more than inside, even though inside was a part of, like,
Speaker:becoming the person who achieves this goal in the outdoors. And like I said,
Speaker:in the past, I have been a climber that climbs in these ranges, but I
Speaker:have always struggled a little bit with that in these ranges, but I have always
Speaker:struggled a little bit with that fear of falling, and it's held me back a
Speaker:lot. And most of the climbs that I would lead in the
Speaker:outdoors in the past have been under that 5, 10 range just because of my
Speaker:anxiety and,
Speaker:like, nervousness around the fear of falling. So I really wanted to work on that,
Speaker:getting more in the mid range climbing and leading those climbs and
Speaker:more confidently and just, yeah, more at ease, all the
Speaker:things. So that's what I wrote for specifics.
Speaker:And then another important part of this is so in my journal,
Speaker:you'll see, like, I have climb name, location grade, and I have, like, a
Speaker:list. And I have some of the ones that I've done underneath it,
Speaker:but I'll talk about that later. So the next journaling
Speaker:prompt that I gave myself was, what do you want most
Speaker:out of 2024 and why? And this for me, I answered this in
Speaker:relation to this goal.
Speaker:Excuse me. So I wrote, I wanna be
Speaker:challenged physically and mentally again. I wanna shake things
Speaker:up to see what I'm made of, but I wanna do this in my personal
Speaker:life through climbing and facing my fear of lead climbing,
Speaker:and then bring that energy into my business and all my learnings around
Speaker:fear to share with my clients, which is why this journal is
Speaker:important to document the journey. And then I also think
Speaker:it's really important, so there's a couple other questions that I do in this process.
Speaker:Like, I like to spend some time thinking
Speaker:about, like, why do this goal? Like, what is compelling me to do this goal?
Speaker:What are my reasons? Like, really dig into the why. And we do this in
Speaker:the backpacking badass program, actually, where we're, like, anchor into why this is important to
Speaker:you. Right? So I wrote a list of why. I'll read that, but I'm gonna
Speaker:get there. The next question was, like, why
Speaker:wouldn't I do this? And then I'm also asking some more questions.
Speaker:So first, I'll talk about why do this. So for
Speaker:me, for my goal, I wrote, why would I do this goal, this leave
Speaker:climbing goal? To be courageous and to live courageously. Like, that's just
Speaker:a value. Like, living courageously is a value in my life that I
Speaker:wanna uphold and be an example of. Right? To
Speaker:have more fun with my climbing, I wanna be a
Speaker:strong contributor and partner in climbing, so that's really important to
Speaker:me, especially when going outdoors. Like, I don't want people to feel like
Speaker:when they invite me to climb that they're the ones who have to be the
Speaker:rope gun and put up the rope every single time. Like, I am
Speaker:volunteering to do that too. I wanna do it to get strong.
Speaker:I wanted to do it to see what's possible if I take my climbing a
Speaker:little bit more seriously and focused. I wanted to shake up a little bit more
Speaker:more seriously and focused. I wanted to shake up a long time passion, like an
Speaker:older passion of mine to, like, revive it a little bit to feel alive. Like,
Speaker:there's something really exciting about pushing yourself into the things that
Speaker:you fear the most and seeing what happens.
Speaker:Into the things that you fear the most and seeing what happens. Like, that
Speaker:really does make me feel alive. Also to, like, lean
Speaker:into my human emotional experience. Right?
Speaker:To not be so afraid of negative emotions is, like, a big
Speaker:piece of this whole experiment. It's like, what am I so
Speaker:afraid of? Why am I afraid to feel the emotion of fear,
Speaker:the emotion of uncertainty, the emotions that are coming up from
Speaker:you? Like, I wanted to really embrace that. Right?
Speaker:I wanted to learn how to find some new tools to calm my
Speaker:mind in fearful situations. Like, lead climbing can
Speaker:feel like it can rep it can really replicate, like, kind of a
Speaker:high intensity sort of
Speaker:fearful situation. And I just think it's a really useful tool to
Speaker:have tools where you can calm your mind in these situations. And
Speaker:it's just lead climbing haps to happens to be a really great way
Speaker:to, like, practice these tools because
Speaker:you're you're putting yourself in this situation pretty consistently.
Speaker:I wanted to make climbing friends, more community here in
Speaker:Colorado. I wanted to have more experiences.
Speaker:I wanted to be able to have tools that I could, like, take from this
Speaker:and teach my client clients for their own fear management because
Speaker:there's so much in what I do that I get to pass on, like, what
Speaker:works for me, help them with things that they're stuck on. I wanted
Speaker:to really have fun, like, play, have experiment, like, not take my
Speaker:goals so seriously in the sense that, like, oh, Allison, you have to do
Speaker:this. Like, no. Let's have fun with falling. Like, how can we make it fun,
Speaker:right? Be curious with my perceived limitations around
Speaker:leap climbing and and try to, like, blow those out of the water. I
Speaker:also wanted to go on some fun adventures with new and old
Speaker:friends. And part of the big reason why I wanted
Speaker:to do this is simply because, like, my curiosity compelled me. And in
Speaker:past episodes, I've talked about how, like, curiosity has been
Speaker:such a strong compass for me, and I just kinda trust it. When
Speaker:I have something that keeps coming to my mind that I wanna work on,
Speaker:I'm like, okay, I need to pay attention, there's a reason I'm really curious
Speaker:about this, so let's lean into it, is kinda the approach that I
Speaker:take. So I wrote down a big list of why
Speaker:do this impossible goal. And then I wrote
Speaker:down I also, like, entertained, like, why wouldn't I
Speaker:do this impossible goal? Because I do think it's, like, important to
Speaker:I think it's important to give that side of your brain, like, you know, it
Speaker:wants to be heard as well, right? Your fears, your concerns,
Speaker:your anxieties, like, put it out all on paper.
Speaker:For me, my why wouldn't I do this was a shorter
Speaker:list. I wrote down, I wouldn't do this maybe
Speaker:because it will take a lot of dedication. Thinking about
Speaker:becoming the person that has conquered her fear around leading,
Speaker:it felt like kind of a really big task. I
Speaker:would have to plan a lot in advance, right? And as many of you are,
Speaker:and probably more busy than I am, but as probably more busy than I am,
Speaker:but as a business owner, I feel busy. There's so many things I'm already planning.
Speaker:Adding in another element sometimes feels overwhelming. I wrote, I will have to put myself
Speaker:out there. I put that
Speaker:mostly because I was thinking,
Speaker:okay. To lead consistently, I'm gonna need, like, a community of people
Speaker:that can come and lead climb with me because you need a partner.
Speaker:And Michael has been my lead climbing partner for
Speaker:a long time, but I didn't wanna just rely on him. He's also not in
Speaker:the space where he's as focused on his climbing goals right
Speaker:now, so I wanted to not have to be reliant on Michael. So I knew
Speaker:I was gonna wanna make climbing friends. I would have to kinda, like,
Speaker:figure out how I was gonna make climbing friends, friends, which I'll talk about,
Speaker:a little bit later, but that meant risking rejection. Right?
Speaker:I also wrote that I'll suck at it at first.
Speaker:And there's nothing more than your ego hates more than sucking
Speaker:at something that you've done before or you feel like you should be
Speaker:better at and all the things, the stuff that our brain comes up with.
Speaker:I wrote, I will feel scared and out of control
Speaker:sometimes, which is true. Like, when you're lead climbing and you
Speaker:don't have a good mental space, like, you feel freaked out
Speaker:and you feel like you hate it. And it feels completely out of your control
Speaker:and just, like, it can really, like,
Speaker:make you freeze, and that's not an a pleasant feeling
Speaker:to experience. I wrote I I wrote,
Speaker:like, practically too. I could get hurt. Like, I could injure myself
Speaker:maybe in the process of doing this. I wrote
Speaker:that I could fail at this goal. I
Speaker:could be too scared or maybe I embarrassed
Speaker:myself. Like, maybe I set this goal, I completely fall flat on my face and
Speaker:I don't make any progress on it and my ego wouldn't be really
Speaker:hurt by that. So those were reasons I wrote down that my brain
Speaker:was presenting me, like, why wouldn't I go after this goal?
Speaker:And then after I wrote that list, the next question I
Speaker:asked myself in this process was, what am I really afraid
Speaker:of? What am I afraid to feel? So that's an
Speaker:important question. So you kinda like take that list of, like, why wouldn't I do
Speaker:this? Like, look at that and, like, kind of dig deeper into it. Like,
Speaker:what am I really afraid of here? What am I really
Speaker:afraid to feel? So I wrote, I'm afraid to
Speaker:feel out of control. That's a huge one for me in
Speaker:a lot of areas of my life, and a lot of people feel the same
Speaker:way. I'm scared of hurting myself.
Speaker:Like, my mind I mean, this is what happens to me when I do have
Speaker:that free state when I'm leading a climb in the past was
Speaker:my brain just is like, it's like it automatically thinks it's gonna
Speaker:die even though logically I know that's not what's happening here. I just know
Speaker:my brain is freaking out because it doesn't know what the fall will be like,
Speaker:the experience of the fall will be like. It just goes immediately to being
Speaker:like, oh my gosh, we're gonna die. And I can't get out of that place.
Speaker:So that's a fear that I was afraid of.
Speaker:Embarrassment when I don't do well or I'm too in my head,
Speaker:like, that's a part of, like, when you have people that you're going with and
Speaker:you're climbing with consistently. Part of my fear was, like, well, what if
Speaker:I'm doing this goal and I'm, like, trying to meet up with these people and
Speaker:lead with them and then I'm just scared all the time and and
Speaker:I'm, like, embarrassed by that. Right? So that was something I was
Speaker:afraid to feel. I was afraid of
Speaker:rejection, like, making new friends. I kinda talked about that one a little bit.
Speaker:I was afraid of feeling tired. I was like, wow. This this
Speaker:goal might take, like, a lot more commitment to my climbing,
Speaker:my strength. I'm gonna feel tired. Imposter
Speaker:syndrome was something I wrote down. I was like, oh, I should be further along
Speaker:by now. I should be a stronger climber by now. All the things that our
Speaker:brain tells us. And then, yeah,
Speaker:I think I wrote down I I'm afraid to feel like it's this is gonna
Speaker:be hard alongside, you know, a lot of my
Speaker:personal other goals, like business goals, everything else that I have going on in my
Speaker:life. So those were the things that I felt deeply kinda at the
Speaker:core were things I was afraid of. After
Speaker:that, I wrote down what is the worst case
Speaker:scenario? So this is something that I talk about with my clients all
Speaker:the time. We have these conversations in our backpacking community a
Speaker:lot, especially when people are new to backpacking and maybe they're going
Speaker:on their 1st trip or they're going on their 1st solo trip. It's like, we'll
Speaker:come to they'll come to a coaching call and be like, I have my trip
Speaker:in, like, a week, and I'm panicking and freaking out about it.
Speaker:And I don't really know why, like, this is where my brain's
Speaker:going. And so we spend time. We're like,
Speaker:okay. Let's think through, like, that realistic worst case scenario that you're
Speaker:worried about. Let's give it airtime. Right? But then let's give
Speaker:equal airtime. So it's like giving equal airtime to both the worst
Speaker:case scenario and then airtime to the best case
Speaker:scenario. So often so many of us only focus
Speaker:on the bad things that could happen and
Speaker:how it's gonna go horribly wrong. Like,
Speaker:everything's gonna be awful. And what if this happens? And we'll just go down
Speaker:that road. And so many of us don't spend any time
Speaker:thinking about what if everything went really well.
Speaker:Like, what would that look like? And spend time
Speaker:dreaming up what that vision could look like because
Speaker:reality is, like, usually
Speaker:somewhere in the middle. Right? It's not a worst case scenario. It's and some I
Speaker:mean, sometimes it's the best case scenario, but sometimes it's somewhere in between. But we
Speaker:need to give airtime to both. Like, your brain, if it's only focusing
Speaker:on the worst case scenario, what it focus on, it's gonna create
Speaker:more of that, look for more evidence of that, all the things. So we wanna
Speaker:give our brain a second focus. Like, what if it goes great? And so
Speaker:that it can start finding evidence for the reason it will go
Speaker:well. Anyways, so I did this exercise for myself.
Speaker:What is the worst case scenario? I
Speaker:wrote the worst case scenario is that
Speaker:this goal is tough for me, and I have to really, really work for
Speaker:it. And maybe I even injure myself from a rookie mistake or,
Speaker:like, an accident. And for me, it stops it
Speaker:stops me making progress on my goal or even worse,
Speaker:it keeps me from my client retreats or
Speaker:trips, personal trips that I have planned for myself because I got injured
Speaker:from a climbing goal. So for me, I thought that's probably
Speaker:my realistic worst case scenario that I'm worried about.
Speaker:For best case scenario, though, I wrote, okay, I
Speaker:start doing this work, I make huge progress on my climbing, my lead
Speaker:climbing, my fitness, and I feel more excited
Speaker:than ever. I break through a big barrier with fear, and it not
Speaker:only helps me become a better coach and business owner, but it also
Speaker:puts new opportunities in my path. Everything leads to the next
Speaker:thing. I make solid community and climbing friends for life.
Speaker:The confidence and courage I've unlocked in my climbing has a ripple effect into
Speaker:my business, what I teach my clients, all the things.
Speaker:Right? I just imagined that place. And then I asked
Speaker:myself, is the best case worth the worst case? And for me, I wrote, like,
Speaker:just, like, a huge yes with a lot of exclamation points. Because for me,
Speaker:it's like the worst case scenario was,
Speaker:you know, embarrassment. It was ego and injury. And injury
Speaker:sucks, but, like, there's so many things I could get injured doing, especially being an
Speaker:outdoor educator. You know, even driving your car, you can get
Speaker:injured. Like, there's that is something we cannot control. Like, I can't
Speaker:control that. Right? I can do my best to be safe
Speaker:and not get injured, but I can't, like, not live
Speaker:my life because I'm overly worried about that. And then the rest of it was
Speaker:ego. So I was like, okay, that's not a
Speaker:good reason not to do something. So for me, the best case was like a
Speaker:resounding yes. It was worth the worst case.
Speaker:And then I said, I asked myself the question,
Speaker:what is the reason why you're willing to feel
Speaker:the emotions, the negative emotions, no matter what?
Speaker:And so I wrote, I feel like if I can get good at embracing the
Speaker:feeling of the unknown or the feeling of being out
Speaker:of control or the feeling of embarrassment or the feeling of
Speaker:imposter syndrome or even the feeling of rejection, if I
Speaker:get good at feeling any of those feelings and I'm
Speaker:willing to feel those feelings, then there's truly nothing
Speaker:that I can't do. So being willing to feel these negative
Speaker:emotions only benefits me in all areas of my life,
Speaker:and being willing to feel these emotions lets me truly live into the
Speaker:standards, the standard that I wanna set for my life, the values
Speaker:that I wanna live into for my life. So for me,
Speaker:like, talking about in prior episodes, like, having a
Speaker:human experience is having a 5050 experience. And
Speaker:there's really not a world even if you aren't going after your big
Speaker:goals where you're not gonna feel the negative emotions. So I would rather
Speaker:feel the negative emotions that are bringing me closer to where I
Speaker:wanna head. So that feeling of imposter syndrome,
Speaker:I probably will feel that whether I go for this goal or not. So I'd
Speaker:rather feel it going towards my goal than not. The
Speaker:feeling of rejection, I could try not I could just
Speaker:keep myself locked up in the house and not go after having friends, but, like,
Speaker:the other negative emotion you might have around that is, like, loneliness. So would you
Speaker:rather feel loneliness, or would you rather go off and risk
Speaker:rejection in the hopes and possibility of creating
Speaker:friendships for life? So for me, I'd rather go. I'd rather risk
Speaker:rejection feeling that negative emotional rejection for the
Speaker:possibility of creating friendships that are aligned
Speaker:with this goal, that are going to push me out of my
Speaker:comfort zone and potentially be friendships for life. Like,
Speaker:that is the fifty-fifty that is living into the
Speaker:standards that I wanna create for my life. So those were
Speaker:some of the things that I journaled on. I did some more journaling.
Speaker:Like, I did some visualization too. Like, I wrote down some things,
Speaker:like, if this was a video mashup of my climbing
Speaker:moments of 2024, what that looked like. I wrote a lot of things. And then
Speaker:I did a brainstorm of, what do I think? Because a lot of
Speaker:times people get stuck with goals, especially big impossible goals. I'm like, well, I don't
Speaker:know how. And I always tell my clients, like, it's really important
Speaker:when we say, I don't know how, ask yourself, but what
Speaker:if I did? And start there. Like, we don't have to know
Speaker:exactly how we get there because most likely it's gonna look a lot different than
Speaker:what you're expecting but ask
Speaker:yourself like try to lean into giving yourself your power back
Speaker:instead of being like I don't know all the time Be like, well, what if
Speaker:I did know and start from there and that will lead
Speaker:you along your path. Always keep asking yourself, what is the next best
Speaker:step? What do I think I should do next? Where do I think I can
Speaker:work next? Right? So I brainstormed all the things that
Speaker:I think I would need to help me achieve that goal. I didn't
Speaker:know if they were right. I don't know. I didn't know, like, what order I
Speaker:should focus these on. They were just, like, my assumptions on things that I should
Speaker:do. And then basically the rest of
Speaker:my journal is me documenting the journey.
Speaker:So now we are at, that was kind of a deep
Speaker:dive into the journaling process, but I hope that was helpful, in kinda seeing
Speaker:how I applied it and what some of those questions that you can ask yourself
Speaker:are. We are almost at the end
Speaker:of 1 year of me having written those things in
Speaker:my journal. So how is it going? How am I
Speaker:doing with my impossible goal? That is part of what this podcast episode is
Speaker:all about. So the biggest thing that I wanted
Speaker:to talk about is, like, I definitely have changed my
Speaker:relationship with my fear of falling. I am now
Speaker:at the point where I'm, like, indoor I'm leading indoors
Speaker:consistently. And more importantly than the consistency
Speaker:piece is that my mind chatter around leading is
Speaker:like, my negative mind chatter around leading is almost nonexistent.
Speaker:Like, when I go to lead a climb indoors with my friend, it
Speaker:doesn't feel like this anxiety producing event. It's just like, oh, we're just, like, lead
Speaker:climb practicing. I'm like, okay. Yeah. I guess I'll get on that one. Like, I'm
Speaker:very calm, okay. Yeah. I guess I'll
Speaker:get on that one. Like, I'm very calm. And when I'm on the wall, like,
Speaker:in the past, it used to be, like, I would get on a lead climb
Speaker:and I'd have to, like, hype
Speaker:myself up and then I'd be on the climb and I'd be kind of panicking,
Speaker:especially if I started to get tired and, like, my muscles started to feel tired,
Speaker:I would start kind of going to doomsday. I would be like, oh my gosh.
Speaker:Like, I'm not gonna be able to do this without falling. Like, I'm getting too
Speaker:tired. I'm I can't do this and I'm freaking out and I'm like,
Speaker:oh my gosh, the last bowl is too far below me, I should go down,
Speaker:I should down climb, I would, like, panic. And
Speaker:now, like, when I'm lead climbing, I'm still, like, aware of my
Speaker:I'm getting kind of pumped but it's really calm. Like, I'm, like, I'll clip
Speaker:a bolt and I'll be, like I look ahead to the next bolt. I'm, like,
Speaker:okay. This is how I think I'll do it. I'm gonna make moves, and I'll
Speaker:make moves. And sometimes I'll fall and it's not a big
Speaker:deal. Sometimes, like, if I'm doing, like, a really overhang
Speaker:climb, I will get to, like, a few bolt like, 4 or 5 bolts
Speaker:up and I'll start feeling really pumped and tired, just like my
Speaker:muscles. I'm just still working on my strength and endurance with
Speaker:climbing. And I will, like, purposely choose to take
Speaker:a rest at a bolt and then calmly finish the next part of
Speaker:the climb. Like, my decision making is more
Speaker:calculated and my willingness to fall is
Speaker:just it's there. So that is huge
Speaker:for me. I like, Michael can
Speaker:vouch for this. He said, when I used to go climbing with him, like, I
Speaker:would often get on a lead and then halfway up, I would just have him
Speaker:lower me because I would freak out and I'd panic. And now I pretty
Speaker:much finish any climb that I'm on unless it's like maybe
Speaker:maybe I got on a climb that I knew was really hard for me. I
Speaker:just wanted to try it. Like, there have been times like that. Or maybe it's
Speaker:the end of a session and I'm just like, oh, I'm pooped. Like, I can't
Speaker:keep going. But it's never just because, like, I'm panicking.
Speaker:And, like, it's kind of even funny now, my friends that
Speaker:I climb with consistently, they they kinda say they say
Speaker:I'm like such a calm climber, which is hilarious to me because I
Speaker:didn't used to be like that. I'm even when, like,
Speaker:I fall or I'm, like, I'm getting a little tired or when I do fall,
Speaker:it's not very, like there's just not drama around it. I used to be
Speaker:so it used my head, like, my mental chatter was so
Speaker:dramatic. So I'm very, very proud of that
Speaker:progress. I am consistently
Speaker:volunteering to lead climbs indoors and outdoors.
Speaker:Every week, I go and lead climb with my friends. I have a group of
Speaker:friends that I go with consistently. Indoors, I'm also
Speaker:consistently leading at or above my level. I still
Speaker:have some work to do with outdoor leads that are, like, in my
Speaker:mind at or above my level, especially depending on
Speaker:where we climb outdoors because there's some areas where things are more run
Speaker:out, and I kinda get in my head about that because the spacing between the
Speaker:bolts is a little bit different than it is indoors. So that's an
Speaker:area I still really need to work on. And
Speaker:there is differences. Like, in outdoors, you are making a little bit more
Speaker:safety assessments when you're out there because the falls could be more high
Speaker:potential. So it is important to think through those things when you're outdoors,
Speaker:but I've still made so much more progress outdoors. Like
Speaker:in the past, I used to default a lot to the stronger
Speaker:climbers just to put up the leads and I would barely lead anything.
Speaker:Now I'm like even if I'm maybe not volunteering to consistently lead
Speaker:things that are a little harder for me, I'm still volunteering to lead
Speaker:things that I know that I can climb, like, even if I've never
Speaker:climbed them before. So that's huge for me. And I'm really proud of the
Speaker:progress that I've made around my fear of falling. I do
Speaker:feel like I still have so much more room to grow here, but it's really
Speaker:exciting to be on the place where I'm like, okay. I've found calm
Speaker:confidence, and I know I now have some tools to,
Speaker:like like, I have just this difference
Speaker:in the way I approach lead climbing. It's it's kind of hard to
Speaker:explain sometimes, but it's, like, a very profound feeling that's very different than I had
Speaker:at the beginning of the year. Some other things that I'm really proud
Speaker:of from what I've the progress that I've made from setting
Speaker:this impossible goal is, like I said, my calm mind
Speaker:and all the progress I've made around that and so much less mind drama. Drama.
Speaker:That's one of the biggest wins. But I did do a
Speaker:510 a lead outdoors. There was this 10
Speaker:a 510 a in Shelf Road, an area that we climbed
Speaker:that's near us in Colorado Springs called I am a Viking
Speaker:that I climbed it actually. I went on an outdoor trip at the very beginning
Speaker:of the year in February, right when I set this goal, and I did it
Speaker:on top rope. And I was too chicken to,
Speaker:like, lead climate that day. I didn't think I don't think I lead lead
Speaker:climb anything that day. I was just like, I'm just here to get
Speaker:back on real rock again because it had been a while. And
Speaker:I remember when I climbed it on top rope, I remember thinking to
Speaker:myself, I was like, I could lead this. Like, I know I could lead this.
Speaker:But I was still in February, I was still make I
Speaker:still learning, like, how to kind of overcome some of my fear with leading,
Speaker:so I didn't even try it. But I went back in September
Speaker:to shelf road with Michael, and I told him, I was like, I
Speaker:need to lead this climb. Like, I just need to do it. And
Speaker:I let it, I let it clean, I didn't fall, and I I was,
Speaker:like, really proud of myself for doing that. So that was a big moment for
Speaker:me. That was one of my more proud moments from the year and kinda felt
Speaker:like a full circle moment. I was like, yay. I'm really proud of my
Speaker:consistency consistency, and continually showing up for this goal. I also got
Speaker:to get outdoors a lot to climb more this year, and, again, like, exploring new
Speaker:areas that I hadn't been
Speaker:to. So I went to Shelf Road, which is a climbing area near
Speaker:Colorado Springs. We went to Diablo Canyon in Santa
Speaker:Fe. I got to go to Dakota hog
Speaker:Hogback in Bear Creek, which is actually a really local spot.
Speaker:I went to 11 Mile Canyon. I went to I think it's called
Speaker:Staunton State Park, which was one of my favorite areas that I
Speaker:discovered this year. Shout out to Meg who recommended it.
Speaker:The bolting is, like, very generous there, not very
Speaker:much run out stuff. 11 mile, like, I felt like everything was run out
Speaker:and very slabby, at least what we climbed. So it was a little bit scarier.
Speaker:I was climbing more under 59 and under there. I
Speaker:wasn't brave enough to try, like, harder stuff. Staunton, very fun. I
Speaker:can't wait till winter is over to go back there again.
Speaker:I got to go I went to Joshua Tree climbing with clients. That was
Speaker:more for clients though. Spain climbing retreat, I do hope to
Speaker:get some leading in there. That will be fun. So I got
Speaker:outdoors a lot more with my climbing again, which used to be a
Speaker:huge part of what Michael and I did every weekend. But like I
Speaker:said, kind of, you know, we shifted gears. We have a lot of passions. We
Speaker:mountain bike. We backpack. We hike. We do a lot of things outside
Speaker:of climbing, so sometimes it's not our main focus, and it hasn't been the
Speaker:past few years. So it was fun for me to get outdoors a lot. And
Speaker:a lot of those trips were actually not with Michael. A lot of them
Speaker:were with the new friends that I made. So the biggest
Speaker:things like, if I had to kind of take some
Speaker:lessons learned and takeaways from this whole experience,
Speaker:so far, the biggest things that have helped me this
Speaker:year are number 1 was having community.
Speaker:So the very first thing that was really
Speaker:interesting about this goal is I remember I set this goal and I had this
Speaker:intention that I really wanted this to happen this year, and I knew a big
Speaker:part of that was, like, I need to make some more climbing friends
Speaker:that are actually, like, aligned with this goal. Like, I had some friends that I
Speaker:bouldered with, but they didn't really wanna lead climb. I needed to find
Speaker:some friends that wanted to lead climb. I wanted to find some women friends, like,
Speaker:a women community. And I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I
Speaker:remember Michael and I, we went to the climbing gym to
Speaker:do some leading. It was the beginning of the year. I skipped back on the
Speaker:rope, and we ran into one of my friends, Rivka. Her name's Rivka.
Speaker:And I had met her her at an entrepreneur event a
Speaker:couple years ago, and we hadn't hung out that much
Speaker:since the time we had met. Maybe a couple other times in between, but I
Speaker:knew she was working on climbing, and we ran into her at the climbing gym.
Speaker:And I was like, oh, hey. Like, good to see you. Haven't seen you in
Speaker:a long time. And part of I think when you step into a new goal
Speaker:and an impossible goal, I think a big part about it is talking about it
Speaker:because I think that is part of, like, trying not like, believing
Speaker:in yourself. So I told her one of my big goals this year was to
Speaker:do more lead climbing, get back into my sport climbing, and all that. And when
Speaker:I said that, she was like, oh, you should join me
Speaker:and some ladies that I consistently climb with in the mornings,
Speaker:and we're doing a lot of leading, and that's, like, our goal too. And
Speaker:we climb every Tuesday Thursday mornings, at least back then. That's
Speaker:what they're saying. And I was like, oh my
Speaker:like, it was one of those pinch me moments. I was like, the
Speaker:universe conspires in your favor when you set a true intention
Speaker:towards something. So I felt like I had set this big goal, and then all
Speaker:of a sudden I happened to run into this person that I have met before
Speaker:but hadn't seen in a long time at the right place, right time,
Speaker:and completely in alignment with what I was looking
Speaker:for. So that worked out really well.
Speaker:I mean, I was I was ready to, like, sign up for
Speaker:all the events at our local climbing gym to try to meet
Speaker:people. Like, I was ready and willing to do all of that and that was
Speaker:my plan, but this worked out really great. So another really
Speaker:important part of that is, I had to be willing to kinda,
Speaker:like, you know, show up when they
Speaker:wanted to climb because I wanted to really be able to climb with these people
Speaker:and have this community. And they like to climb in the mornings, and I
Speaker:am not really a super early person, but
Speaker:I show up in the mornings to leave climb with these ladies even
Speaker:though that is not my style typically because this goal was really
Speaker:important to me. And so I wanna just, like,
Speaker:before I move on to what else what else helped me
Speaker:here is I do think that risking those negative
Speaker:emotions like rejection and awkwardness and embarrassment
Speaker:are so worth finding the community that's perfect for you. Please don't
Speaker:stop yourself from finding people because you're really
Speaker:gonna help really gonna help you step
Speaker:into that version of yourself, and keep looking for them. Don't
Speaker:stop looking for them. I remember when I first moved to Colorado, I didn't
Speaker:have very many friends. I feel like it took me 6
Speaker:months to find people that I felt, like, really truly connected with,
Speaker:and it was a lot of rejections. I went on a lot of friend dates.
Speaker:I met up with a lot of people that I just, you know, kinda jibed
Speaker:with but, like, didn't see myself jiving with for a long time. And then
Speaker:I remember when I met my friend, Alex, it was I had signed
Speaker:up for this mountain bike group thing, and we were biking together, and it
Speaker:was like a little kid moment. I was like, oh, cool. Are are you
Speaker:a beginner biker too? And she was like, we're both riding our bikes. And she's
Speaker:like, yeah. And I was like, cool. Cool. Well, like, do you wanna ride
Speaker:bikes outside of these kind of biking events sometimes? She was like, yeah. And I
Speaker:was like, okay. I was like, well, maybe we'll, like, exchange numbers after
Speaker:this. She was like, yeah. And I was like, okay. And then so we did
Speaker:the awkward thing where we exchanged numbers and then, you know, I took the chance
Speaker:of, like, texting her after I was like, hey. Would you like to meet up
Speaker:for a ride? And then, you know, she was
Speaker:also willing to show up and do it. And then now we're, like,
Speaker:really great friends. And that evolved. And so if I hadn't been willing
Speaker:to reject the awkwardness and embarrassment, like, I wouldn't have found
Speaker:that friendship. And I had done that before and it didn't
Speaker:pan out. Like, I've gotten people's numbers, texted them, and they've just
Speaker:ghosted me. So we have to be willing to do it and I
Speaker:think it's totally worth it. So that was like my sidebar because I know building
Speaker:community is such a huge thing for some people. Okay,
Speaker:the next thing that really helped me with this goal is
Speaker:climbing with women. Okay, so I love my
Speaker:husband. I love climbing with my husband, Michael, but there is
Speaker:something really powerful about climbing with women that
Speaker:I personally believe that has helped me up my game and
Speaker:really work on this goal. So I think a lot
Speaker:of it is that like when I'm climbing with other women, I
Speaker:wanna hold my own. Like personally, and this is not to be like
Speaker:this is nothing to do with them putting any pressure on me. But for me,
Speaker:I wanna step up. I wanna be a strong group
Speaker:contributor to any climbing trip that we go on
Speaker:and the climbing that we do. And we talk about this in backpacking,
Speaker:like, the different personas you step into when you're becoming more self
Speaker:sufficient. Like, in backpacking being a strong group contributor
Speaker:is you being to be that person that's invited along on trips and people
Speaker:know that you own your own safety. You have your own back. Like, they're not
Speaker:gonna have to babysit you. Right? Like, that's I'm not meaning this
Speaker:in a negative way. I think it can be really empowering to know that you
Speaker:can step into this role. Right? And so for me, my
Speaker:desire was really high for that with climbing. Like, I wanted to
Speaker:get invited on girls trips where we go climb, and I'm putting
Speaker:up lead climbing routes. Like, they're not just it's not just me being like, would
Speaker:you put up this rope for me? I felt like I had done that a
Speaker:long time. I was ready to be
Speaker:more of a leader because I had the experience.
Speaker:I really wanted to step into it. It was ready. I was ready for
Speaker:that. And climbing with other women just, like, really compelled that in me.
Speaker:I think when I was climbing with Michael, especially because he was my husband, my
Speaker:partner, right, a lot of times I would default to him
Speaker:because he was he was, like, the stronger climber out
Speaker:of us too. So I'd be like, no, you just climb it. Like, you'll be
Speaker:faster. You're better at this. And so I would count myself out like a
Speaker:lot more often. And when I'm with with other women, I'd be more willing
Speaker:to, like, take those leaps of faith and that risk. And,
Speaker:like, it was just a really powerful shift for me to be able to climb
Speaker:with other women. Another thing that was really
Speaker:helpful is I took a fall clinic in the early
Speaker:springtime. I signed up. My friend told me about it. So at our gym,
Speaker:they offer falling clinics. And I don't know why every gym
Speaker:doesn't offer this. I've talked to some of my clients who say they don't really
Speaker:do that at their gyms. They'll do some lead climbing classes, but
Speaker:this class was specifically on falling. And I really appreciate
Speaker:that our local gym offers this because for me,
Speaker:something really clicked for me after taking a fall clinic because
Speaker:basically all that we did in that clinic was
Speaker:you climb up to different situations and take falls. And so he would
Speaker:be like, what are you most afraid of? I'm like, I'm most afraid of, like,
Speaker:getting ready to clip a bolt and falling because I'm pumped.
Speaker:Right? Because that for me was like the most out of control
Speaker:scenario. And so we practiced that. I mean, like, obviously,
Speaker:we were practicing it in a safe way, so still being mindful, still
Speaker:thinking about the fall, all of those safe practices. But he
Speaker:would have me pull out a length of rope as if I was about to
Speaker:clip the next one and take a fall. So I got to experience
Speaker:these safe falls in all these different scenarios. And he even had
Speaker:me, like I was, like, I'm really scared of taking fall or, like, doing
Speaker:harder climbs because they're out I know they're out of my limit, but this is
Speaker:what I want. I wanna be able to, like, get on a 5:11
Speaker:unsure if I'll be able to climb it and still going for it. And he's,
Speaker:like, well, let's do it. And I was like, well, what if I can't even
Speaker:make it to the 2nd bowl or I get to the 1st bowl and I'm
Speaker:unsure if I can get to the 2nd bowl? He was like, like, this is
Speaker:just where he talked me through about, like, how a lot of this
Speaker:is, yeah, we are having those risk assessments and talking through those
Speaker:things. But a lot of it is communication and being, like,
Speaker:in communication with your belayer and having a lot of trust and, like, your belayer
Speaker:understanding this stuff too. So, anyways, that clinic gave
Speaker:me a lot of positive experiences around
Speaker:safe falling. And for me, that I think was huge
Speaker:because my brain needed to have a lot of experiences
Speaker:of safe falls so that my brain could see the correlation of
Speaker:safety with falling instead of, like, panicking into the
Speaker:unknown and also with different varying experiences. So, like, clipping
Speaker:a bolt, falling right at the bolt, falling mid between
Speaker:bolts, falling at the first bolt or, yeah, like,
Speaker:shortly above the first bolt, you know, falling, clipping the
Speaker:anchor, or all these things, like, I got to practice a lot of it.
Speaker:So I feel like that clinic was it was only, like, an hour long,
Speaker:but we did so much. And
Speaker:that was, like, a huge I did only one fall clinic and I
Speaker:feel like everything like, for me, a lot of the work that I did clicked.
Speaker:It just it became so much more natural for me.
Speaker:I talk about this a lot with my backpacking clients, like,
Speaker:especially the the women who wanna go solo. They wanna go on solo
Speaker:backpacking trips. Like, sometimes jumping straight
Speaker:into a solo backpacking trip, especially when you have a lot of fear and
Speaker:anxiety and your nervous system is, like, lighting up on fire and
Speaker:making you panic, like, sometimes that's not the right move. Like,
Speaker:sometimes we need to slow down and create
Speaker:a, like, a resume of positive experiences around being alone and trusting yourself because a
Speaker:our ongoing solo is, like, trusting yourself to make the right
Speaker:decisions, trusting yourself to have your own back, to make
Speaker:safety calls, to know what to do in certain situations, we need to
Speaker:build a resume of positive solo
Speaker:experiences. And so what I always recommend to my clients
Speaker:is, like, don't be, like, so in a hurry to go
Speaker:on a solo backpacking trip and freak out and not enjoy it and
Speaker:panic. Maybe either you don't even go or you go out there and you hate
Speaker:the experience. Like, take that time to slowly build your way up to
Speaker:feeling safety around it, and it's totally okay if it takes you a
Speaker:little bit longer to hit that goal. I think it will be worth it.
Speaker:So that could look like, you know, going on more solo hikes. Like,
Speaker:even if you're not used to solo hiking in general, like, doing more solo hikes,
Speaker:going on a solo car camping trip where you have access to your
Speaker:car at a campground that's like more other
Speaker:people are there. It feels like a little bit more safe. Like, practice, you know,
Speaker:like, even if you have a lot of just general fear around going solo, like,
Speaker:even doing silly things like going to dinner by yourself or like
Speaker:going to the movies by yourself. Like you just really need to create a lot
Speaker:of positive experiences around being alone.
Speaker:Another thing that I felt was really helpful for
Speaker:me making progress on the skulls, I kept up with bouldering. So I
Speaker:still go bouldering, which is another style of climbing.
Speaker:If you're new to all this, you could look it up. I I didn't really
Speaker:talk about that at the beginning, but I kept up with my bouldering. So I
Speaker:still go bouldering at least once a week at the climbing gym as well as
Speaker:all my lead climbing that I'm doing. For me, I think bouldering helps me
Speaker:keep some strength and power at the forefront of my climbing,
Speaker:body moves. Like,
Speaker:I think it's really important. It also helps me practice dynamic
Speaker:movements on the wall which has been really useful as I'm trying to do harder
Speaker:stuff or more, overhung climbing routes
Speaker:that are lead climbing because sometimes I'll be, like, above a bolt and I'm
Speaker:not yet clipped into my next one, and the next move looks
Speaker:powerful. And in the past, that would kind of freak me out. I'd be like,
Speaker:I know what this is like when I'm bouldering, but when I'm, you know,
Speaker:like, on lead, it would freak me out. But I think feeling more confident in
Speaker:my dynamic movements from bouldering has helped me have more
Speaker:confidence in my dynamic movements on lead. So
Speaker:I think it has a lot to offer my lead climbing,
Speaker:and it helps me learn to, like, be more bold with my
Speaker:climbing in general. So that was super useful. And then
Speaker:finally, I think just consistency and, like,
Speaker:having self integrity towards my goal. So
Speaker:falling and lead climbing and bouldering and climbing
Speaker:it's something that I do every week no matter what like period.
Speaker:Like I go 2 to 3 times at
Speaker:minimum every single week, if not more. Sometimes when I'm going outdoors,
Speaker:it ends up being more every single, almost every single
Speaker:week, right? That consistency is so
Speaker:important to this process, especially
Speaker:for this particular goal. It was so super important to this process. No one is
Speaker:going to force me to go climbing every week. Nobody's going to care about my
Speaker:goal like I do. Like, I could have set this goal
Speaker:and not talked about it again and nobody would have cared. They wouldn't have,
Speaker:you know, been encouraging me to step up for this goal.
Speaker:But I have to do it for myself and I have to show up for
Speaker:myself even when in the moment, like, I don't
Speaker:want to. So if you look at my journal, you'll even see some entries in
Speaker:there that were, like, went bouldering today,
Speaker:felt meh, like, wasn't feeling it, but I still got an hour
Speaker:in, still got on some of these climbs, and I'm proud of showing
Speaker:up. Like, that showing up for yourself, showing yourself
Speaker:that something is important, I think, is massively important to any
Speaker:goal. Like, you have to keep keep going. Right? There are areas that I do
Speaker:think, like, in reflection kind of looking back at all this, areas
Speaker:that I do think, like, in reflection kind of looking back at all this, there
Speaker:are areas I know I still need to work on. Like, I don't feel like
Speaker:I fully have achieved this goal. For me, like, a
Speaker:big area that I wanna still work on is
Speaker:translating that calm mind chatter and calmness that I have
Speaker:indoors leading more to outdoor scenarios, especially
Speaker:when the bolting is spaced out. Like, I still struggle
Speaker:when things are run out, which
Speaker:I'm trying to decide I need to figure out what my comfort level with that
Speaker:and maybe that's just a decision, like, there are certain things maybe I just
Speaker:won't lead just for a safety reason, like, I'll
Speaker:just make that call. But then I think there are certain scenarios where it's just
Speaker:the bolting is more spaced out in the gym, but it's totally within my realm
Speaker:and I should go for it. So I need to work on that and make
Speaker:some more decisions around that. So that's something I'm still working on.
Speaker:I wanna do more consistent fall practice because that was doing that
Speaker:one session was so powerful. I wanna do more work with that,
Speaker:and climbing more outside of my range so that I fall
Speaker:more. I feel like lately the last especially the last few months
Speaker:I've noticed that I have been getting on climbs
Speaker:and instead of like going I'll start to feel pumped and
Speaker:instead of going for the next bolt, I'll just be, like, tell my
Speaker:bowlerab, like, okay, I'm gonna take here and then I'll, like, I'll, like, kind of
Speaker:flake try to get the pump out of my arms
Speaker:and kind of reset, and then I'll finish the climb. And,
Speaker:you know, sometimes I do this because we're on an overhang route. And if I
Speaker:fall, like, I can't get back on where I wanted where I was starting
Speaker:because a lot of the women that I'm are belaying me are,
Speaker:like, way less than me. So I fall farther when
Speaker:they're belaying than me so that's fine. That's not a big deal.
Speaker:But if I wanna finish the climb, then it's hard to get back on the
Speaker:wall for things that are really overhung. So sometimes I do that for a
Speaker:reason. But I've noticed I just started doing it more instead of just
Speaker:opting to push myself and can I make it to the
Speaker:next? Can I push through this pump? Like, maybe I have more in me than
Speaker:I'm thinking I do, so I would like
Speaker:to you know, do that a little bit more. And I think
Speaker:I've just gotten a little bit, like, lazy.
Speaker:There's not the panic isn't there. Like, I'm not thinking about the next bolt being,
Speaker:like, I'm too pumped. I'm gonna panic like where it used to be. It's more
Speaker:just like, nah. I don't feel like falling. Like, it's been more of a
Speaker:this kind of calm decision I've been making. So I'd like to get back into
Speaker:pushing myself into, you know, seeing if I can get to the
Speaker:next bolt even when I have that feeling of pumped and, like, my
Speaker:muscles are tired. Right? And then I think
Speaker:sticking to a training plan. So I did create a training plan midway
Speaker:through this year to try to, like, work on getting stronger. I have been
Speaker:okay at sticking to it. I think I haven't been taking that one
Speaker:as seriously as I could. And I think for me,
Speaker:I'm at this point now where in order to climb harder and climb harder
Speaker:routes, which I am interested in, I'm gonna need to
Speaker:take that training a little bit more seriously. So,
Speaker:yeah. As far as, like, if you remember when I was reading back in my
Speaker:journaling goals, I wrote down, I will know I have achieved
Speaker:this goal when let's see, actually, exactly how I worded it.
Speaker:I said, I will know as I'm finding this,
Speaker:I know I'm consistent I've achieved this goal when I'm consistently volunteering
Speaker:to lead climbs at or below and just above my
Speaker:grade level range, and I talked about how I'm doing that for sure
Speaker:indoors and somewhat outdoors. I could
Speaker:do more of that outdoors. So that's semi
Speaker:achieved. And then I wrote, I've also led 5 to 10
Speaker:climbs in the range of 5 to 10 plus in the
Speaker:outdoors in 2024. So I've actually only
Speaker:led, 1 5 10 a outdoors since
Speaker:I set this goal. I've done a lot underneath
Speaker:the 5 tens outdoors, but, again, my goal
Speaker:was to do 5 to 10 outdoors. So I
Speaker:still haven't achieved that yet. I do still have 1
Speaker:month left to hit it at the end of the year. So maybe I
Speaker:will. Maybe I will hit my goal. Like, maybe I'm gonna head off to Spain
Speaker:and go to that trip and, like, slay it, like, just hit it out of
Speaker:the park and tick off those leads. Like, that could totally happen. I'm holding space
Speaker:for that. And maybe I won't, like, hit the goal. Maybe
Speaker:I will, quote, unquote, like, fail my impossible
Speaker:goal. But I hope that with this long
Speaker:podcast, I hope that you can see with this
Speaker:example that I've laid out today that it really doesn't matter
Speaker:either way. The woman that I've become in setting that
Speaker:impossible goal to become a badass lead
Speaker:climber, to have more confidence, to have fun with
Speaker:my fear and really rewire my brain around the fear of falling,
Speaker:the woman that I become in setting that goal, I've
Speaker:done already so much with that experience.
Speaker:Like, I have accomplished so many things. I've made so
Speaker:much progress. There's been so many lessons that I've learned along the
Speaker:way. I've made new friendships in the process of setting this
Speaker:goal. I've gone to brand new places that I've never climbed
Speaker:before, gone on some amazing climbing trips with new friends.
Speaker:I've had amazing experiences, moments of joy and, like, pushing myself, all the things. I've
Speaker:gotten stronger. My climbing has myself, all the things. I've gotten stronger.
Speaker:My climbing has gotten better. I've, you know, honed this mental fortitude and,
Speaker:like, I've created new tools for calming my brain and, like,
Speaker:situations that feel more out of my control. These are huge. They're outdoor climbs at
Speaker:5:10 that I've led this year. So remember, I'm not gonna be able to do
Speaker:that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna
Speaker:be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not
Speaker:gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna led this year.
Speaker:So remember, at the end of the day, setting
Speaker:any kind of big goals, any big scary impossible goals,
Speaker:doing that is more because it helps us set a compass and a direction
Speaker:better than achieving the goal itself. Like, the becoming
Speaker:of the person who achieves the goal that is
Speaker:beautiful and it's so often underrated. And honestly, like,
Speaker:it's so much better than achieving the goal itself. Like, the becoming of the
Speaker:person who achieves the goal is the actual, like, adventure of
Speaker:it all. I probably because I
Speaker:I have led climbs 5, 10 plus, like, in the past, done this
Speaker:part consistently. Like, I am not like, this is not something that I
Speaker:haven't done before. But I really wanted to do it in a way where lead
Speaker:climbing felt more fun and the mind chatter felt calm.
Speaker:So I probably could have gone at the beginning of this year and just forced
Speaker:myself to tick off. Fun and
Speaker:calm confidence.
Speaker:But made
Speaker:progress on the fun and calm confidence part of the piece, which was a really
Speaker:big part. It was, like, more of the the reason of doing it more than
Speaker:the 510. The 510 was just more of a way to measure it because it
Speaker:was, like,
Speaker:this is, you know, at and some of those if it's above 5
Speaker:10 plus range, like, above my level depending on the
Speaker:climb, like, if I can have calm confidence in those
Speaker:situations on outdoor leads, like, I will know I have achieved that goal. So
Speaker:for me, it was just an easy way to measure it.
Speaker:I really just wanted to have fun with this goal. I am fine with
Speaker:it taking the time that it's taking. I I am busy. Like, I am doing
Speaker:a lot of things also outside of this goal, and I'm learning a lot
Speaker:about myself in the process of this goal. So I'm really thrilled
Speaker:to have set this goal for myself. I think that I'm probably
Speaker:gonna double down on it in 2025 and see what happens, kinda like
Speaker:fuck around and find out, you know, and make it even bigger
Speaker:and stretch myself even more because I'm still really excited about climbing and
Speaker:where I could take it and, like, what happens if I like I said, some
Speaker:of those things I said I could work on, like, take my training even more
Speaker:seriously. I also feel like that training goal goes so
Speaker:well with some other personal goals I have in my life. So I'm really
Speaker:excited to kinda like, I'll tell you guys more about some of those goals as
Speaker:well in the future, but I guess I'll leave you with
Speaker:this. Right? So I wanna encourage you to set
Speaker:that big impossible goal. Show up for it each week and do
Speaker:your best and when you have an off week, like, pick yourself back up
Speaker:the next week and keep going. Like, I do wanna be like, you know,
Speaker:I talked about consistency being an important part of this but let me, like, give
Speaker:some transparency around that. Like, I definitely did have off weeks.
Speaker:There was this 3 week period in August where
Speaker:I had back to back backpacking trips in California with
Speaker:clients, where I really didn't climb at all.
Speaker:And I know that I could have tried harder to keep up with my climbing
Speaker:during that time period because I do have friends that live out there in
Speaker:California. I would have people to go climbing with, but I was a
Speaker:little overwhelmed with everything that I needed to do and all balancing all
Speaker:the client stuff and just, like, wanting to be present for that. So I gave
Speaker:myself permission for 3 weeks in August to take a break from the
Speaker:climbing goal in general and that I would just pick it back up when I
Speaker:got back to Colorado. So the important, like, message here is, like,
Speaker:even when life is lifing which is something we talk about
Speaker:with our clients all the time, like, life is lifing, like, and now what?
Speaker:Right? Just don't quit. Your progress does not
Speaker:require your perfection. It only asks that you don't
Speaker:quit. And so if this podcast has inspired you to
Speaker:set your own impossible goals for next year then I really want
Speaker:you to encourage you to lean into that,
Speaker:explore that, think about what that could look like for you next
Speaker:year. Like December is such a great time to start thinking about what
Speaker:you want to go big on in the new year, what side of yourself or
Speaker:identity do you want to explore, what would you love to
Speaker:create, where would you love to go, what would blow your mind if you achieved
Speaker:achieved it in 2025? And don't be so afraid of the failure aspect of it.
Speaker:Like, what if I don't achieve it, Allison? I hope that this podcast the biggest
Speaker:thing. I hope the biggest thing has shown you is, like, it doesn't
Speaker:matter if you have fully achieved your goal by the end of it.
Speaker:There's so much that you will create
Speaker:by going for it in belief that, you know, maybe I
Speaker:could do this. Right? If you have goals around
Speaker:backpacking, like if you're wanting to get more into backpacking and you have big goals
Speaker:around that, like you could also do this work with us inside of our backpacking
Speaker:badass program where you could walk yourself through some of the
Speaker:prompts that I talked about in this episode, think about it through
Speaker:the lens of backpacking, and you could use that program
Speaker:as, like, a way to kinda step through the skill sets that you need to
Speaker:step into to achieve that goal. And, again, if you
Speaker:wanna learn more about the backpacking badass program, you can check that out at
Speaker:shedreamsofalpinedot com/waitlist. Or if
Speaker:you're interested in doing some of this kind of, like, reinvention,
Speaker:you know, identity sort of work deeper,
Speaker:kind of like I talked about, I do this with our adventurous reinvention
Speaker:experience clients. We will be enrolling in that
Speaker:program in late March or early
Speaker:April of 2025. So you can go to that wait list at
Speaker:shedreamsofalpine.com/are,
Speaker:apple, red, elephant, a r e.
Speaker:I will link both of those things in the show notes if you're interested in
Speaker:either of those. But in that adventurous reinvention experience, like, we
Speaker:worked together all summer on this concept
Speaker:along with preparing for a big backpacking trip together, which usually
Speaker:takes place in July or early August. And that program is
Speaker:much different than the backpacking badass program, but it might be a right fit
Speaker:for you. So if you want to learn more about that, you can listen to
Speaker:my how to work with me episode. I wanna say that's, like, one of the
Speaker:3rd or 4th episodes in this podcast and I definitely go into
Speaker:more the differences between those two programs.
Speaker:Okay, y'all. I'm gonna wrap this up. I can't believe I
Speaker:think I've been talking about an hour now. Wish me luck
Speaker:in Spain. I am so excited to get to climb with my
Speaker:clients out there. If you're one of my clients that's joining me there,
Speaker:I can't wait. I'll see you soon. And I'll have to
Speaker:report back on if I hit my goal
Speaker:in maybe a future podcast episode or something like that or post it on
Speaker:Instagram. So I cannot wait to share with you more. I hope that
Speaker:this podcast episode was helpful, gave you a little bit behind
Speaker:the scenes look of, like, how I approach big goals, especially, like,
Speaker:outdoor goals in relation to, like,
Speaker:impossible goals and all those things. I can't wait to share more with,
Speaker:like, some of the things that I'm setting for 2025, definitely
Speaker:for another episode, but until then I will see you
Speaker:in the next episode. Okay. Bye.
Speaker:Hey. I wanted to thank you real quick for tuning into the show and
Speaker:listening all the way to the end. If you love this episode and you want
Speaker:deeper support in becoming a safe, confident, and self sufficient hiker and
Speaker:backpacker, then head over to shedreamsofalpine. Com/waitless
Speaker:to learn more about our backpacking badass coaching program, where I teach
Speaker:you absolutely everything you need to know to be self reliant on the
Speaker:trails and stop waiting around on others for the adventure
Speaker:invite. So I'd love to help you more in your journey of stepping into
Speaker:your adventurous identity, and that program is the
Speaker:absolute best place for us to start working together. So, again,
Speaker:that's she dreams of alpine.com/waitlist, and
Speaker:you can learn all about it there. So that's it for today, folks. I
Speaker:hope you get to spend some time outside this week, and I'll be back
Speaker:very soon with a brand new episode. Bye.
